One Thing I'm Sure Of

Lately, God has speaking into my life like crazy. More like shouting. It's very obvious and has made Him very real. This has led me to ponder some questions today.

Is it because I've been needing more of Him lately?
I've wondered if maybe it's because I've suffered some pain lately, and maybe He is taking this opportunity to build me up in time of need. Maybe He is speaking in to my life because He's giving me a great story to be shared one day (which I truly believe). So is He speaking more? Or am I just listening more?

Has He always spoken like this and I just didn't notice?
This could be the case. Maybe I'm at a point where I know I'm needing more of Him so I'm noticing more of Him in my every day life. So what it boils down to is: is it truly that He's speaking more or that I'm just more aware.

I would probably say a little of both. I wholeheartedly believe that He's using this time in my life to speak so much truth that it's all going to boil up and flow out of me to be used for His glory. That's one thing He's been telling me lately: His story in my life will be my ministry. I have no idea what this means or what it will look like, but He has me convinced that everything I'm learning right now is meant to be shared. So yes, I really do think He's speaking more. I felt nothing but silence from Him for a few months, all to boil up to a big point of speaking into my life.

But I do also believe I'm more aware. I reached a point that I needed God more than ever before. So my ears have been more open lately. My eyes have been frequently searching for Him in every little thing I lay my eyes on. My senses are heightened to the movement of God in every single, little or huge thing that walks into my life. He sure is speaking more. But I am listening more

One thing I'm sure of is that every ounce of pain and suffering I've felt in my life is worth the closeness to God that comes through trial. That, I know for sure.

Change of Plans

Here's the thing about me and blogging: I don't do it sometimes. When I don't do it that could mean a couple of things: life is really slow and uneventful or life is so eventful that it's much too personal to share in the moment. The latter is the case as of late. I'm a big picture kind of writer. I don't love to send out bits and pieces of important happenings. I want to wait until I can tell you about my struggle and how God pulled me through it to redemption, peace, joy, or whatever the ultimate "win" of that struggle is. God's been teaching me that my plans and His plans for me are two vastly different sets of plans. And someday I'll be able to share what my plans were and what His plans are, because I'm convinced that someone out there needs to know how God moves among His people today and boy has He been moving.

On a different note...

Life over the last couple of months has been quite interesting! After Elizabeth visited in May, I had plans for Lydia to come in June! All I had to do was get through a month and the next visitor would arrive. Not long before Lydia was supposed to come, my mom got very sick and we decided quickly that we needed a change of plans. There's no way Lyd could leave mom and dad at home without any family members in town, especially taking care of Brynlee. Plus Lyd and Elizabeth both needed some breaks and help with the ol' parentals! So change of plans: I went home. There were no plans for me (or us) to go home for a long time, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I got to spend 8 long and wonderful days at home, and all family members except Tyler were together for several days.

This trip was desperately needed. When I moved to California, I never imagined that my dad would end up in the hospital twice (once for planned surgery, once an unplanned visit) and my mom would end up in the hospital for a lovely (from what I hear =)) 8 day visit, all within a few months of each other. I didn't plan on that, neither did they of course. It's tough to be so far away and just need to be with your family. That's one big lesson I've been learning since the end of February. Sometimes all you need is your family and sometimes you just can't have that, and it's seriously rough. I'm so thankful for Tyler and his patience, understanding, and comfort through all the difficult moments in the last several months. I'm also so thankful for a church family and great Bible study ladies to pray so much for me and my family, so many of them knowing what it's like to be far from "home".

I will always be thankful for this trip home. I got to spend ample time with my parents, both sisters, brother(s in law), and nieces and nephew. What a last-minute, unplanned blessing. I guess that's the beauty. Sometimes my plans don't happen, but things happen in a way that so much joy can be found. While I hate that my mother was sick and my reason for going home was not a great one, I think it was healing for me to be around my whole family for a time.

Now I'm prepping to spend two weeks this month in Southern California for CIY Move and Mix. I could not be more excited to get out of town with 21 of our high school students and focus on what God has for us at Move. It's been 4 years since I've been to a week long youth event and I'm so ready! Camp and Youth Quake were such a HUGE part of my life growing up so I'm pretty pumped to go as a leader and experience Move for the first time. Plus, I've always wanted to visit SoCal and I'm finally getting the chance!